What to do when your tarot reading disappoints a querent

One of the hardest things to do as a tarot reader is to feel like you’re the bearer of bad news.

People come to readings with a lot of hope. Sometimes they want to hear that a rough situation is going to turn around, or that an old flame is going to reappear in their lives. 

But it isn’t always in the cards – at least not as far as you can tell once the reading has started. 

I once had someone get quite upset with me when I told her that I didn’t see what she wanted me to see. 

“I’m not here to lie to you about what I’m seeing,” I finally had to tell her. “Would you rather I do that?” 

This wasn’t a defensive question – it was honest. I genuinely wonder if some clients want readers to just tell them what they want to hear rather than interpret the cards as they are. 

More often than not, though, people are open to receiving whatever may come. Even if the news is disappointing. 

“But how do you break it to them?” one of my students asked me earlier this year. “Do you just say that you don’t see something coming true for them?” 

This is always a good question and a great topic to explore when it comes to working one-on-one with people. Whether you’re reading tarot or working with other forms of divination, it’s important to stay true to your interpretation of what you’re seeing.

But we can’t lose our humanity in the process. Being honest is important – even if it’s not what the client wants to hear.

It’s also important to remember that your querents have feelings, and a reading might be their last grasp at a possibility of something they hold dear.

So holding these conversations with compassion and kindness matters, too. 

Sometimes I’ve had students wonder where to draw the line between kindness and honesty. But like many things in tarot, and in life, it’s not an either-or situation. 

One of the things I find helpful is to get clear about what a querent’s intention is for the reading from the beginning: What are they hoping to leave with? What are they hoping to take away from the session? 

This can help to set expectations from the beginning. It also provides some space to talk about how the querent might feel if they don’t hear what they want: What would be helpful for them to explore otherwise? 

You can also remind a querent that your job is a reader is to talk about what you see in the cards: Tarot is about the art of interpretation – it isn’t an exact science, and nothing in life is guaranteed. Just because something doesn’t show up in a reading doesn’t mean it has to be the final word. There may be other sides to someone’s story. 

And finally, I like leave time at the end of a reading to leave on a positive note if we need to. As you’re reaching the last several minutes of your session, offer to pull a final card for something constructive or positive the querent can focus on as a way to move forward. 

Within any reading, I want to feel like something has shifted for the querent throughout the process – even in a small way. 

Sometimes that might end up looking and feeling differently than you both expected, but if I can close the reading with something a querent can reflect or act upon, then I feel I’ve succeeded in my aim as a reader.

Until next time,

Liz

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