You Don’t Always Have To Be Working On Yourself

Uncertainty sends a lot of people to their local tarot readers, or inspires them to pick up the cards themselves.

Sometimes the reasons for that uncertainty are obvious. Someone might be in a precarious situation at work. Or has just gone through some personal upheaval and they’re looking for reassurance that everything will be okay.

Other times, though, uncertainty is driven by our inner selves, rather than external factors. Our culture is so fixated on self-improvement and striving towards (an often vague notion of) potential that it sometimes causes us to live too far in the future.

This kind of thinking gets us so focused on what’s next that we’re not always connected to where we’ve landed, or whether we’re happy with who and what we are in this very moment.

We hear encouraging words to strive for more, to change for the better, to edit out our messes and flaws.

But – and this is a big BUT… it’s important to remember that not everything needs fixing, and we don’t always have to be taking life “to the next level” at every turn.

This is something that I’ve personally had to reflect on over the years, and it’s also something my tarot clients have brought to the table many times over.

“Is the universe telling me it’s time for a change, or am I just restless?” Clients sometimes ask. 

It’s easy to know you need a change when things are truly difficult. But when life is going all right, it can be harder to tell whether you should be focused on growth or transformation, or just keep things status quo.

“I’m happy, but I always worry if there’s something else I should be doing,” clients tell me.

Sometimes the cards do indicate it’s time for change. But it’s also not uncommon for tarot to show that things are fine as they are: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fit it,” these readings seem to say.

In those instances, my clients might decide to explore questions around how to get re-inspired or re-invigorated about their current paths: “How can I practice more gratitude? How can I allow myself to just relax and enjoy where I’m at instead of obsessing over change?”

There is a major tendency to pathologize our behaviours, to question our decisions, and to avoid our true nature these days. We over-analyze ourselves and often end up trading in the most honest parts of ourselves because we think there’s something more or better out there.

Or, because we think we need to be something other than what we are.

This doesn’t always revolve around jobs and careers, of course.

Sometimes, we turn this analysis-paralysis on our inner selves.

We start to believe that if we have a desire, a routine, or a pattern, it must be something that needs to be looked at.

Or we turn this lens on our relationships:

“Maybe there’s someone else out there for me.”

“What if the person I’m with is not ‘the one’?”

“What if there is another life out there for me, and I’m not living it because I’m here instead?”

Those of who are drawn to practices like tarot and astrology, to spirituality and self-help, tend to be striving towards growth, self-awareness and betterment.

And those things on their own are great. They have their time and place.

But we have to remember to honour the lives we have as well, rather than constantly wondering what – if anything – needs to change.

I’ve counseled clients who have given up perfectly good jobs, friendships, marriages, and more in pursuit of self-improvement and an idealized future – only to find themselves looking back with regret when they fail to reach a new level of fulfillment after such a dramatic change.

Change for change’s sake might feel exciting, but it might not always be what you need, or even what you want at the end of the day.

Striking the right balance between statis and growth, and satisfaction and striving, are all things we each have to learn to navigate in our own ways.

And if we are helping others through tarot, divination, or other spiritual means, then we also have to be willing to let our querents explore their “why” behind their own questions.

Sometimes, the desire to change direction arises out of the oddly uncomfortable realization that life is actually all right: That everything is as it should be. When there’s nothing to strive for at the time, restlessness sets in. So does doubt: “There’s no way things can be this good. What’s the catch?”

Not only does it get exhausting to pick apart everything about your life, but it’s also not necessary.

If something brings you pleasure, then why is that a problem?

If something is working, why try to fix it?

If something suits you, then why reject it?

Unless you’re in a situation that is causing hurt or harm, holding you back, or keeping you out of reach of a true goal, then it probably doesn’t need to be fixed.

Learning how to help ourselves, and our querents, recognize whether it’s truly time for change, or whether it’s best to stay the course, is an integral part of any tarot reader’s practice.

My Work and Relationships course is now open for enrollment if you’d like to learn more about how to give dynamic, helpful readings on tarot’s two most popular topics. Join here.

Until next time,

Liz