A lesson I learned from a friend this year
I have been reflecting a lot on my own actions lately.
I have been having really amazing conversations with a very-wise high school friend I reconnected with this year.
He said something that stuck with me:
“No one should assume that their advice is SO AWESOME that everyone needs to hear it.”
I know this is true because I have been on the receiving end of unhelpful, unsolicited advice a lot in my life. Especially throughout challenging times, like the illnesses and deaths of my parents.
But when I think back about my side of certain interactions, I realize I am just as guilty of offering unwelcome or uninvited advice.
Instead of just listening to my friends, I used to find ways to make myself useful. I couldn’t just let them talk about their day jobs or creative ambitions, or whatever they were sharing with me.
I always had to assume the role of a coach, consultant or therapist, whether they were asking me to be that for them or not.
Ironically, learning to...
Your Ego Can Be Your Ally
Ego is something you hear about a lot.
It comes up in spiritual conversations, therapy sessions, tarot readings, and self-help books.
Maybe you’ve talked about your own ego, or felt the weight of someone else’s ego.
We all know at least one person who’s got a larger-than-life ego.
Take my late friend, Nik Beat, who was a poet and performer. Nik used to introduce himself on stage by saying, “The ego has landed.”
But is ego bad, or good?
Something I hear a lot from my clients and students is that they worry about making “ego-based decisions.”
When we dig a little deeper into what they mean, there is usually a lot of guilt under that statement:
Guilt about being selfish, putting yourself first, or prioritizing your happiness.
Is it wrong to follow an ambition? Is it wrong to enjoy your life?
I don’t think so.
To be honest, if I always put my own desires last, then I wouldn’t have done much so far.
A lot of people...
